well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
