Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
false alarm, still single
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