Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
