just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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