so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
