Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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