In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
