is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
