I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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