in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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