You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
