Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
