Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
