oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
