Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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