M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
