When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
