Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
