I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
