Cold hands, warm shart.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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