I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
