loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
