I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
