IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
