it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
