Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize