I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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