This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
