yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
false alarm, still single
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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