just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
