Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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