I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
