tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Less talking, more tequila
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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