Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
