69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
