i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize