Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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