part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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