Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
