i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
