so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
just found out that she named her cat after me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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