I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
