im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
