I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
