she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
