I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
