And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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