So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
