I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
