Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
