You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
