Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
