I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
