What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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