Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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