We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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