How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
