The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
