he puts the penis in happiness.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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