I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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