he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize