she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
