Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
