franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize