My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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