Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
