The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
